Funny hotel room notice

 

Genuine notice from my hotel room taken whilst on a recent photographic jaunt to Krungthep...!!!

Market sellers

Three pictures of market sellers taken early one morning in Hua Hin fish and meat market. I could (and did) wander around this market for hours and must have fired off about 500 shots.

Every corner I turned presented a host of amazing picture opportunities. The light was often diffucult to work with but I suppose if it was easy it wouldn't be so rewarding when you get it right.

Taxi

Three Bangkok motorcycle taxi drivers take a break for a well earned snack and a chat.

Bus boy

This is actually a self portrait. If you look in the lower left hand window you can see me talking this picture. Of course I had planned it this way.

Yea right...!

Rice life

Rice paddy fields as far as the eye can see. Carefully tended by a dedicated band of workers. Its back breaking stuff as most of the work is done in the stoop position and of course a big floppy hat is de-rigueur to fend off the raging afternoon sun.

The normal rice growing period is between July and September but can vary between regions. The above picture was actually taken out of that season bracket and as a consequence is not as green and picturesque as it will be in a few months time. I won't be there then so you'll just have to be make do with this picture instead.

Meanwhile back in les village all is deathly quite. It appears I am the only one crazy enough to be wandering around with my camera in the midday heat. I am eyed suspiciously by drowsy eyes peering from within shady hollows. I can hear snigger's and the words 'ting tong ferrang' (crazy foreigner) being whispered. But being stout of trouser I soldier on regardless, oblivious to all around me, searching for that all important National Geographic front page picture. A scorpion bringing down a fully grown bull elephant or the fabled (only by me) all female nude marathon run.  If only...!

Cock fighting

Whilst in n/e Thailand I was invited to view some cock fighting. Now I don't advocate such an event but having never seen anything like it before and seeing as it was sort of put on for my benefit it seemed churlish not to at least take a peek.

The cocks in question were preened for ages and I mean preened. They were washed down with some sort of lime water they had their throats cleaned out with a feather? and generally given a sort of bird spa pampering.

They didn't (thank god) have the usual knives attached to their feet as this was I guess used as a training event. Although I don't suppose the birds knew the difference.

Once thrown together they seemed to know what was expected of them and began pecking at each others backs (you can see the raw flesh in the above picture).

To be honest I got a bit bored after a while but the villagers seemed enthralled to the max. I suppose they don't get to watch much TV and certainly don't have a PS3 or an Xbox.

The thing that struck me the most was that the birds never backed off from each other. They just kept on pecking and pecking. Even if one seemed to be loosing it never seemed to occur to it to run away! It would just keep on attacking and get more bloodied. Maybe the birds were drugged? All the villagers were certainly well sozzled by the end of the first fight. I had to be quite resolute in refusing the kindly offered home brewed Lao Khao (lethal rice spirit).

All in all I found it all a bit pointless and cruel. I suspect with the razor sharp blades attached the fights are a lot shorter but that's defiantly not for me.

Mcdonald wai

At what lengths will a corporate giant prostitute itself in order to entice hungry diners to enter it's hallowed portals and dine on pure shit. The picture on the left may help to answer the question.

I'm inclined to think McDonald's are taking the piss. Seeing an over sized plastic clown sporting red hair, a gay yellow romper suit and a sinister sarcastic smile wai me every time i pass causes me to wince.

The very fact the welcome sign is in English only tells me their target market is not the Thais. Would they eat poo? No! their palette is far more discerning. Its only the supposedly educated westerner that has a diet akin to Beelzebub's bottom.

I can promise you one thing I have definitely not been inside. If I'd wanted to dine on a piece of damp cardboard draped with a sheet of limp yellow plastic  I'd probably eat the Bangkok Post. At least it would be educational.

The big move part 2

Well all the stuff arrived in one piece, if not totally unscathed. Nearly everything had a scrape or a dent of some sort. Still I can repair or hide most of it!
I do have to say though my Index furniture looks a tad out of place in an Issan village hut, ha ha ha.


This is the piece of land on which I will be having 'Che Wilson' constructed. Its about 1 rai (1600 sq mtr's) This is plenty of space for the house to sit and still have ample room for a vast veggie plot.

It offers commanding views of beautiful countryside and rolling rice fields. Perfect for picking off the odd peasant or unsuspecting water buffalo.

I decided to only fill two thirds of the land as I thought a flat plain would be a bit boring, so now it has two levels. One no doubt to flood nicely in the rainy season!!


Whats the cost of all the labour I hear you cry? Well for the tractors, earth movers, levelers and diggy things, the complete total for was 30,000 baht or approx £440.
It worked out at 200 trucks of earth at 150 baht a truck or approx £2.23. Where could you get it any cheaper?

Now it has to be left for about 6 months to settle, before building can begin.
I intend to have built, an abode of about 180 sqm's. Consisting of 3x bedrooms, 2 x bathrooms, but still have plenty of time to make adjustments as it suits me.

Part 3 to follow...

The big move Part 1

Today is the day of the big move up north, and we have been up since 07:00 doing the final packing. Most of the furniture has been swathed in blue and white sheeting, (well worth it at about 750 baht for 30 metres). To minimise rubbing on the journey. We also purchased several large plastic tubs to hold the breakables. Its in the hands of the lord Buddha now?

Suddenly at 11:30 the usual quite of our home was punctuated by the rumble of a large truck, followed by the 'toot-toot' of a horn. The beast had arrived. I run outside and slid open the gate to allow its entrance.


It looked colourful enough, but was it up to the task? Great plumes of smoke pumped from its exhaust as it reversed to a stop and breathed its last.

All at once four fit looking Thai guys sprung into life, emerging from within canvas sheets, where they no doubt have been slumbering before the task ahead.

Our driver had been around two days earlier, and assured us that his truck was large enough to accommodate all our belongings. We shall see as I glanced around me dubiously.


Less than half our stuff was loaded and our man looked thoughtful as to whether it will all go on? I had already started to select stuff to leave behind as a last resort.

Every now and again he would point to something and say 'this go' when we replied yes, he would scratch his head and let out a desperate gasp. 'should have got a bigger truck' I mumble under my breath.

Now it was straining at the gunnel's, and we still had the patio furniture to go on, no way, I thought to myself it ain't all going to fit on, no way. However our optimistic driver kept barking out orders, and things would get shifted around, or rather shunted. I grimaced as the sound of wood on metal could be heard, followed by the ominous twang of something from deep within the pile!


Then the 'ace up his sleeve' was produced, the little tail gate that I had assumed would have to be bolted up could in fact be left down! thus giving a further 3 feet of space. My God this may be possible I thought to myself, come on son...

Thus legend was born, it was all on. I gave the crew around of applause and smiled at the driver through misty eyes. They in turn eyed me with amusement.


I say it was all on, but I lied. All but one item could be transported to the new promise land I had spoke about for so long. Sadly I had to take one of my plants to one side (pictured above) and break the news that it would have to be left behind, perhaps to fall on its own bamboo pole, who knows. Jeremy appeared to take it well, but I could sense a great hurt from deep within his foilage.

Then there was a great whooping and a hollering, canvas sheeting was wrapped around everything and they were off, amid more plumes of smoke. What condition will it arrive I thought to myself? What condition indeed.

Part 2 to follow...

Hardly a Davidson !

Is this the new harley sportster....?

Xmas turkey

Well it's Christmas day and where did I spend it? Well as you can see I was on the beach, lazing under the blazing sun. Just look at the smug grin I'm sporting, what a bastard....ha ha ha.
Thank god for the clone tool in photo-shop, very handy for the thinning scalp!
A very happy Xmas to you all...

Chiefly yellow

Its not unusual to see motorbikes over here in a terrible state, held together with no more than spit, Buddha string and a prayer, but I spotted this rather tidy example of an old Indian last week. It's obviously quite old, but none the less well cared for. Note the bicycle drinks cage on the handlebars, palm tree painting on the headlight shell and radio in the back pannier, just the think for blasting out those Issan tunes. Not sure I'd have chosen yellow though.....

Bob Monkhouse

Speaking as a drunk, I'd never be a monk! I would fail miserably trying to live a monastic life that's for sure. There was a report in the Bangkok Post last year that stated several monks were found on a covert night out, they were found dressed in trousers and shirts, creeping around Bangkok's seedier red light districts. Well lets face it even the most devout head rocker will find it hard not to crack sooner or later....

Shiny happy people

This rather dishy newscaster is surrounded by well meaning devotees carrying pictures of his Majesty, as she tries to address the cameras. They all jostle for position and a chance that their families might see them on TV.

Happy birthday

Its the 5th of December and I'm in Bangkok for the Kings birthday, trouble is so is every other bugger! Its as hot as the Devils bottom after a fiendishly hot curry, and empty cabs are as rare as a straight talking politician. Yellow shirts are the order of the day, turning Bangkok into a giant sunflower. Still everybody seems happy enough. I'm drinking water at a rate that would make a local council issue an immediate hose pipe ban, a couple of times I nearly drowned. I'm trying not to trample on sleeping Thais, and avoid having my eyes poked out by umbrellas. Every piece of available shade has been used up. Phew....

Flag of sorts

Me thinks this flag might be in need of replacement. The wind has reduced it to mere threads. But then again knowing the Thais it will serve faithfully for at least another 10 years....
On a more informative note did you know that there have been four official flags in Thailand the current one has been in use since 1917. Well now you do......

Eerie whoop....

Being within a genuine bona fide mangrove swamp is a hideously eerie affair. for one thing it is worryingly quite, you know things lurk within as you hear the occasional plop of water and loud whoop, but you never see anything. Peering into the dense tangle of branches you wonder where the hell they are and do they inflict pain. Almost certainly. There are big arsed web's all around, but no spiders in view, are they crawling up my back? Ugh....
Seriously though its a great experience, and if lucky enough to be given the chance, one not to be missed.

Wock & Woll

Never one to pass up the opportunity to see a good rock band, when a few of us happened across this group of rockers, we decided to stop. My girlfriend informed that they are a really big time wock band called 'BlackHead' (strange name) I kept on expecting the lead singer 'Poo' (another strange name) to explode in a fountain of yellow pus!
They weren't at all bad but when the bottles started flying, and heavily armed police moved in, we decided to head off. Shame as they had a really good sound...

Loy Krathong

Ladies, your best dresses please...

Loy Kratong is upon us once again. Its an evening of pomp and finery like no other. Above young ladies see old friends, and wait for their turn to join the procession.

Its a silk makers dream come true, there must have been hundreds of yards of the stuff, in every conceivable colour shape and design. A veritable feast on the eyes. Fantastic!!

I love this shot. I just caught her eye and she gave me a lovely smile. Its quite an honour to ride atop one of the floats. She must have been very proud.

I am not sure what the hell it says, but they weren't crying so it couldn't have been half bad...

Dragon Boats

Its the day of the great 'Dragon Boat' races.
(In Hua Hin anyway)

All the teams have been taken out of their box's and assembled. They are as ready as they will ever be. Young fit and eager to the point of no return, their bodies ripple with pride.
The boats sit waiting to be filled gently slapping in the still waters. Make no mistake these baby's tip over easy, you have to have the build of an Asian just to fit in one. I would sink one on my own were I ever tempted to venture twixt the gunnel's.


Its time for a damned good old fashion rousing sing song to boost team moral, but why the painted faces and lipstick?


Sweet lord we're off, paddle like the wind you buggers, for loosing means certain death at the hands of the 'you didn't try hard enough' Buddha!